Welcome back Intellectual Minds! We’re rocking steady on day 3 of vacation, missing you like crazy. But no worries, our guest authors got you! It’s always a pleasure to have you stop by and see what we’re up to! And speaking of which, boy do we have a special treat for your eyes! If you’re lucky enough to still have your grandmother, you know how important a role it is she plays in your life! And if yours have passed on, such as ours, her memories will always live on through you. Special guest author, Dariel Raye, is sharing some of her grandma’s wisdom with us today. So, make sure you get comfortable and enjoy the read!
In case you haven’t guessed it, I’m doing the Wonder Woman thing, but that’s not what I’m here to talk to you about today. I’m thrilled to be here, and I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks, MelloJune!
Things My Grandma Taught Me: 7 Love Signals
Remember when Steve Harvey released “How To Think Like a Man?” Frankly, I love Steve and appreciate his honesty with women, but I was a little perturbed when the book became a bestseller because my Grandma had been telling me the same things since before I reached puberty, and she never made a dime. Now I realize not everybody had or has a Grandma like mine, but let’s face it, ladies, we’ve all wasted precious time on a deadbeat at least once in our lives. My heroes always eventually express their love in all 7 of these ways. Even though I write paranormal/urban fantasy romance, this really does apply to real, everyday life. Come closer, sit a spell, and I’ll tell you about the 7 love signals to watch for so you know you’re not wasting your time. I’ve got a thing for lists, so let us begin in random order:
1. He wants everyone to know you’re his.
Don’t mistake this for beating on his chest, handling you like a dictator, or posturing as if he somehow created you. Your man wants his friends and family to know that he’s with you, he wants to be seen with you, and he’s not trying to keep your relationship behind closed doors. He introduces you to his family and friends, and walks beside you instead of striking out ahead of you in public.
2. He listens to you and respects your opinion.
One of my pet peeves is a man who doesn’t value my opinion, and I hate to hear couples putting each other down, be it openly or subtly. I don’t want him to ask me about everything as if he can’t make a decision for himself, but when we’re discussing anything from politics to money, to what color tie he should wear, and he’s looking away, withholding verbal or non-verbal cues like eye contact, uh-huhs or mm-hmms, or discounting and disagreeing with me before I can finish vocalizing a thought, he’s gotta go.
3. He wants to do things for you. Talk is cheap.
Starting with my father, who was a contractor among many other things, the keepers in my life have always been men who let me know I don’t need to hesitate before calling on them when I need help. It’s one of the most important measures of love, the willingness to be there for you and help you do whatever you need. After I’d been divorced about a year or so, one of my old beaus looked me up and made contact. He verbally expressed interest in picking up where we’d left off when we were dating. Did I mention, talk is cheap? We went out a few times and started catching up on our lives, and I invited him over for dinner. During the course of our conversations, he told me he was an electrician. I’m a homeowner, and that translates to: there’s always something that needs to be done, fixed, or replaced. You know where this is going, don’t you? Long story short, I asked him to install an overhead light (that I’d purchased – I didn’t expect him to buy the thing), and although he agreed to do it, he acted as if he forgot. I forgot to return his phone calls or respond to his texts. Just in case you’re thinking that sounds harsh, fast-forward to a husband who calls you a nag just because you expect him to take out the trash or contribute to the household in some way. Point taken?
4. He not only tells you how he feels about you; he shows you.
Any man can say he loves you, but what’s he doing to back up those poignant words? How does he treat you in general? When he looks at you, can you see it in his eyes? Does he sound happy to hear from you when you call? Does he call you regularly and show concern for how you’re feeling? Does he make sure you’re able to get in touch with him in case of an emergency? Is he interested in what’s going on in your life even when it has nothing to do with him? Did I mention that talk is cheap? Words are nice to hear, but it’s all about his actions.
5. He’s protective.
Men and women often think differently, and thank God for both. We need one another. You might think it’s a brilliant idea to start showing houses after dark, but I can respect a man who cares enough about me to put his foot down and say “Woman, what are you thinking? If they have to wait until after dark to see the house, I’m coming with you.” Okay, so that was really specific, and when you’re in real estate, you can’t very well make a living without showing houses, but my point is that your safety is a priority to him. He wants to make sure you’re protected in some way, whether it’s accompanying you, making sure you’re trained in self-defense, or helping you get just the right automatic, pepper spray, and hand-knife. Folks are crazy, he knows it, and he takes precautions to protect you. Ultimately, he’s willing to offer his life for you, but we hope it never comes to that because we want to keep him around.
6. He supports your dreams.
This usually boils down to a time and space factor. For instance, if you’re an author, he doesn’t have to read your work, although that would be super fantastically awesome. As long as he gives you time and space to write in peace by taking care of some of the menial tasks we’re all too often forced to handle, he’s supportive. I once dropped a guy like rusty lead because he always wanted to take me out to do whatever he wanted, but he never showed for any of my recitals, concerts, or other performances. If the tables had been turned, I would have been his most loyal fan. Not only that, but he would have expected it. Same principle applies if you love to knit, read, or if you’re starting a small business. It’s about caring enough to perpetuate your personal growth, and providing that extra time and space to give you time and space to pursue your purpose.
7. He improves your life with his presence, and he’s generous with his resources.
This is actually two separate things, but I’m sticking with the number 7.
He adds something, a list of intangible somethings, in fact, to your life. Maybe he makes your heart lighter because he makes you laugh, or his strength gives you peace you miss when he’s not around. He’s the one person who can say “It’s gonna be okay,” and you believe him because you know he’s going to do everything in his power to make it so. He willingly shares his tangible resources with you. He doesn’t have to have a lot, but stinginess translates to selfishness, and selfishness has no place in a good relationship.
This list is certainly not comprehensive, and I’m sure I’ll think of something really important to add as soon as it’s published, but these are some of the main highlights and deal breakers. Wise women knew the rules long before we were born, but over time, many of us have slipped and fallen into stifling if not toxic relationships with deadbeats. That’s another post for another day. I’d love to hear about some of your “rules” and experiences in comments. Also, share this post with some of your friends. Nobody has time or energy to waste on unhealthy relationships, and we can all learn from each other’s successes and mistakes. If you’re so inclined, click my logo, cover collage, or right here for more info about me, my books, other people’s books, and my random musings. You can also find me on Amazon, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, and for first dibs on everything, join my VIP Book Club. You’ll also receive 3 of my books when you join the book club. May you go forth and prosper like honeybees.
Two Heroes You Don’t Want To Miss
People always ask me who my favorite characters are, and I feel like a mother who’s just been asked to choose a favorite child. Can’t be done. Each one is different and pulls at your heartstrings in his or her own way, but no Mother’s Day award-eligible mother can easily or publicly say which child is her favorite.
That said, please allow me to introduce you to two of my most recent heroes. Of course, they possess all of my required qualities: loyalty, protectiveness, and more. Apart from that, each one is quite different. I love them, and hope you will as well.
Broken dreams, an ancient enigma tainted by the past, a mystical bond beyond time and space.
Thrilled about receiving funding for her new outreach program, Jaci meets Andreus and embarks on a journey wrought with mystery and answers to questions that have plagued her for years.
Three years after the accident, Jaci Allen believes she is as lost now as she was the day she awakened to the sudden, tragic deaths of her husband and two year old daughter. Throwing herself into her work has allowed her to avoid the reminders of her broken dreams, leaving her dangerously empty inside, always seeking…something.
Accused and convicted of the murder of his adoptive mother’s husband at the age of sixteen, Andreus admits his guilt, but acknowledges to himself that his memories of the night the abusive man was killed remain incomplete at best.
Meeting Jaci ignites the awakening of Andreus’ frightening special gifts – gifts he has not only tried to hide from the rest of the world, but from himself. Can two shattered souls find a way to heal one another?
About the set…
Dare to discover what lurks in the shadows in **New & Exclusive** paranormal and urban fantasy stories from your favorite NY Times, USA Today, and International Bestselling authors.
Under moonlit skies, witches, werewolves, vampires, demons, dragons, and more, battle not only for their mates, but to stay alive…
Fall for the alphas who play by their own rules despite the odds, whether century-old curses or forbidden love, or worse. For them, what lies in the darkness is worth the fight when it comes to romance.
Dangerous Beauty, Sexy Beast
Drayden saved her life— but her incessant need for vengeance could mean the end of his.
Thirteen years after the brutal murder of Treva Evers’ entire family, a cloaked stranger shows up just in time to save her from the same fate. When he disappears as quickly as he appeared, she is drawn into an underworld replete with magic and long forgotten customs, a place where nothing is as it seems, including her mysterious savior, and every word or action could result in brutal consequences.
Thank you for stopping by and showing your love to our guest author today. If you enjoyed Dariel Ray, please feel free to comment on this post. We’d love to hear from you! Please come back tomorrow morning to check out Author, Ella J. Smyth. Until next time, Intellectual Minds, Keep on Reading!