What’s up Intellectual Minds? We hope you enjoyed Author N.D. Jones guest post yesterday?! We’re on Day 2 of our vacation, and while we’re sitting back and relaxing, it is our hope that you, too, sit back and enjoy this great topic by our special guest author, Tysha Jordyn. What’s love got to do with it you say? Nothing! Check out what Tysha has to say on how to deal with the four-letter-word that takes on many different forms for each and every individual. Enjoy!
Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt
If you’ve ever been in love, like truly in love, then you know it’s one of the best feelings in the world. Better than ice cream on a hot summer’s day. Better than finding out that your favorite pair of jeans fit after slaving to drop those last few pounds — you get the idea. Being in love is like the ultimate high, and if you’ve ever been there, you know that the way you think and move is completely different in the face of true love. Unfortunately, you can’t enjoy the highs of love without the lows, and for some couples, the lows of love are beyond rock bottom and slip into a dark place that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy: abuse.
It’s no secret that abuse can manifest itself in many forms, can rear its ugly head through many acts, and it always stings a lot more when it’s served at the hands of someone that’s promised to love you to the ends of the earth. When this happens, it feels like a betrayal, and that’s exactly what it is. Whether you’re the abuser or the victim, the mere existence of the abuse is evidence of a betrayal of trust. When you give your heart to someone and agree to love them genuinely, you’re committing to protecting their heart from harm. This betrayal of trust leaves you with a gaping wound that feels as though it will never heal. It may even leave you feeling like you’re unworthy of love, but I can’t even let you fall into that trap, so let me help you side-step it. Yes, it is possible to find a healthy, genuine love after you’ve experienced the betrayal of trust that is abuse, and I’d like to share a few gems to help you not only find, but keep that well-deserved love.
- Break up with your experience.
I know this is easier said than done, but it’s important to be able to separate yourself from the abusive experience you’ve endured. Yes, you’re a survivor, and no, it was not your fault. Plain and simple. Your pain was something that happened to you, not something that defines you. You broke up with your abuser, so do the same with the experience itself.
- Remember that time really does heal wounds.
There’s no magic formula to determine how much time is needed to heal the wounds of your abusive experience, but it’s imperative that you give yourself time to process and work through your pain before diving into another relationship. It’s just as important an aspect of caring for yourself as making sure your body is fed and hydrated sufficiently. Think of it like this: if you go into a store with a full shopping cart, how will you have room for any new purchases?
- Red means stop. Know the flags.
Ever hear how a person has a “type?” That’s especially true in relationships, and in order for you to exercise self-preservation and avoid landing in another abusive relationship, it’s vital that you know what an abuser “looks like,” figuratively speaking. The danger of abusive individuals is that they’re often highly manipulative and cunning; they sell you a dream of a happily ever after (with a straight face), knowing good and well they have no intention of living up to the picture-perfect persona they hook you with. Once you know the red flags, you can nip the abuser’s game in the bud, keep it moving, and save yourself a ton of pain.
- Don’t cheat yourself out of a good thing.
Again, easier said than done. Once you’ve endured abuse, it’s very difficult not to look at your future potential mates as a reincarnation of your abuser. It’s hard not to blame a new suitor for the trauma inflicted by a past mate. Doing so is a clear sign of fear, and a good indicator that you may not be ready to get back out there in the dating pool just yet. No worries, because you’re free to take as much time as you need to push past that fear. It’s most important to focus on your well-being, and to make sure you bounce back from the trauma of abuse like the winner that you are. After all, you’re a survivor! There will always be fish in the sea, so focus on getting back to loving yourself first, and your happily ever after will come in due time.
You will always hear that love hurts, and yes, there will be disappointments and let-downs in love, but abuse is never okay. Rest assured that there is love after abuse, so know your worth and be ready and willing to embrace it!
Domestic violence is an issue near and dear to my heart, so I crafted a heart-wrenching story of one young lady’s journey from the lows of abuse to the highs of a fresh, new love. Crushin’ On A Boss spins a tale of this young lady’s journey to find herself while getting a taste of the highs of real love. Be sure to check it out and leave me a review!
Want free books? Visit www.tyshajordyn.com for more info!
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Thank you for stopping by and showing your love to our guest author today! If you enjoyed Tysha Jordyn, please feel free to comment on this post. We’d love to hear from you. Please come back tomorrow morning to check out author Dariel Raye. Until next time, Intellectual Minds, Keep on Reading!