You ARE Sorry. . .

Hello Fans:

Do you remember the times when a person would do or say something they truly regretted and apologized by saying “I’m sorry?”  When you were a child, did you ever do something so bad that you thought your mom would give you a spanking for it, but instead she said to you, “you’re such a disappointment,” and you wished your mother had beaten you because those words left you feeling less than a human and cut you deep down in the core of your soul?

If you’ve managed to get through life without having to apologize for something you may have done, I’d appreciate it if you would introduce that person to me because I truly do not believe any such person exists.  But, you get the general idea.  There are things we do to one another that sometimes is not our fault, or we didn’t realize we were hurting another by our own actions, however, as some say today, “shit happens!”  And, when those things occur, the majority of us were taught to say I’m sorry.

So. . .lets examine just how sorry some of us really are.  Growing up, my grandmother instilled in me so much of her awesome wisdom, which is hugely why I’m the woman I am today~~not to leave out my wonderful mother, who brought me up with the same wisdom that was given to her.  And I can remember, throughout my childhood, one of my grandmother’s pet peeves was, “Baby, promise me something.  If you do anything you are sincerely sorry for, you will never do that again!  A person who is truly sorry doesn’t keep committing the same offense over and over.  Why, there’s nothing in this world that I hate more than a sorry ass motherf*cker!”

If your mouth is gaped open, or if you’re blushing or gasping at the keeping-it-real language, one thing my grandmother always did was shoot straight from the hip.  She never sugar-coated her words and she always told it just like it was, whether you liked it or not.  Now. . .I don’t know how you feel about that, but those words were deeply rooted into my soul and I never forgot them.  There are so many things my grandmother shared with me in her colorful way of speaking, but her messages were spot on and well received.

I miss my grandma immensely, but she lives on through me each and everyday, and many of you who enjoy ‘My Truth’ series on Facebook, she’s the inspiration behind it.  I just tone down the way in which I say it to be more suitable for my viewing audience, but today since she’s been heavily on my mind, I decided to put her words out there just as she did with me because I think that’s what this world needs~~some ‘real’ truth.

We’ve all read the headlines in the newspaper or watch the news where you’ve read or heard an athlete or entertainer say or do something only to later on have to come back and apologize for what he/she may have done.  I can’t tell you how many times my grandmother’s words come to me when I see people making complete asses of themselves, only to turn around and have to say I’m sorry.  But, and that’s a huge BUTT, are they truly sorry?

Amy Winehouse, at age 27, died last week, and what a huge loss for the record industry.  I feel terrible that another great musical talent has succumbed to death way too soon.  But what was even more horrific was singer, Keri Hilson, who made some rather insensitive tweet remarks and shared a Twitter Pic of an Amy Winehouse lookalike.  All one has to wonder is, why, and what the hell was she thinking?  Of course, she tweeted later to her upset fans that she was. . .you guessed it~~”sorry,” and oh, “she didn’t mean any harm!”   I could possibly forgive her for something like that had this been her first time committing such an act, but, unfortunately for her, it’s not!  She’s sorry indeed~~a real sorry case!

As much as it pains me to bring up my next sorry case, I wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t.  My favorite linebacker, James Harrison, of the Pittsburgh Steelers, did an interview entitled Confessions of an NFL Hitman wherein he not only spoke horribly of NFL Commissioner Goddell, but posed with two big ass guns (of which he is the owner of) on the front cover, looking like the stereotypical terrifying angry black man~~just the image we want to project to our youth~~Bravo, Harrison!  Not only did he speak ill of the Commissioner, he went steps further to bash his own teammates, Ben Roethlisberger and Rashard Jamal Mendenhall.

See, this is what happens when the NFL dragged its feet on the ‘Lockdown’~~perhaps had they been at football camp, this unfortunate incident may not have occurred.  But at any rate, Harrison, while at camp, literally ran to the cameras to give his~~ooh yeah, you know the drill by now~~apologies for his words in his latest interview.  Of course, Harrison says that he was angry at the time, and “wasn’t thinking clearly” of what he was saying, and how the reporter took out of context what he ‘meant’, but he’s good with the League and his teammates.  So all is right with the world.  Umm, I may be able to believe my favorite linebacker, had this been his first offense, but, as usual, that’s not the situation.  Yes, he’s sorry for what he’s done.  You’re so sorry, it’s not even real~~and it’s killing me to even say that because I respect his athletic abilities, but boy did he tarnish himself~~AGAIN!  Hmm, sounds like this linebacker is begging to be unemployed for good!

If you thought those sorry cases were bad, well, Tracy Morgan, comedian of 30 Rock, in his stand-up shared with his audience that being gay was bullsh*t and that it’s a ‘choice’ and people aren’t born that way.  In fact, he knows being gay is a ‘choice’ because God doesn’t make mistakes, and if God created gay people. . .well that would mean God isn’t perfect.  Ooh yeah, Tracy not only opened his big mouth and inserted foot, he swallowed his entire damn shoe.  I’m all about the laugh and talking about all walks of life, because let’s face it folks, that’s what comedians do, and we all know that no one is safe from their wrath, and I get it, I really do, but to go as far as he did with his anti-gay remarks was not only insensitive~~but downright ignorant.  As if what words come out of his mouth is holy?  He stated opinions, certainly not facts, or shall I say, facts in which he is not qualified to speak upon, as if anyone, for that matter, is.

So what does Morgan do?  Of course, he went on the media circuit to defend his insensitive words and stated simply, “I’m sorry and I apologize,” for if he hurt anyone by his stand-up routine, and he in no way believes in violence against gay people nor does he hate gays.  He gave his apology to the gay and lesbian communities and literally begged for their forgiveness.  I don’t know if the gay community accepted his apologies, and they are probably right for not doing so, if that is the case, since, yet again, this isn’t Tracy’s first time at the dance either.  Well done, Tracy, you are more sorry than you know.

Are you now figuring out why my grandmother’s words come to my mind so often.  As many of you are probably tired of me always saying to you, “be careful of the words you speak!”  Do you really think I’m kidding when I say that so readily to you.  Just look at the three sorry cases I stated above and I believe I’ve more than adequately made my point.

More often than not, people commit horrible acts knowingly and willingly, all for the sake of publicity or to get their points across without thinking or rather, thinking very clearly, just to turn around and have to apologize for what they’ve done.  How can we believe the apology or accept it as truth when a person, more than once, continues to do what they claim they were sorry for in the first place?  Why should we place our faith in your words, when your actions state something completely different?  Why do these things at all, only to come back and have to recant your omission?

Gramma, I loved you then, now and always.  Your words live with me each and everyday and I am so honored to be your granddaughter and truly blessed and thankful to my God for allowing me to share my life with you.  I think of you each and everyday, and especially how you told it like it was.  It’s because of you that when I do commit an act that I am deeply sorry for, I never repeat my offense.  I owe a great world of gratitude to you for that little easy lesson, that so many people make extremely hard to master.  My world isn’t quite the same without you, but I’m so blessed to have your wisdom within me.  I love you always!

Simply put, Learn to Respect the Power of Words!  And for God’s sake, if you do something you’re sorry for, MAKE SURE you don’t repeat your mistake!~~Until Next Time, Love, Peace and Write ON! Gramma!  I miss you!

Kimberly Ranee Hicks, Author/International Poet
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  1. As a child I was taught to say I was sorry for every little offense. What I really should say is, I was 'forced' to say I was sorry. When I began working with children and trying to teach them to apologize, I noticed the anger in their faces and the redness in which they did it and I promised myself I would never force my own children to apologize for their misdeeds if they didn't mean it. If I did, it would mean I was rearing them to be liars.

    If they had a conviction, wrong or not, it was their belief. Did they get punished? Oh, hell yeah. If I had to spank them I did. What I hoped to have taught them was that their words held consequences and the effects last for an eternity. Think of the other person before you speak. Apologize if you mean it, without coaching, but don't believe a 'sorry' fixes everything. Also, I believe as a parent we should be leery teaching our daughters about accepting apologies so easily. Just look at the cases of domestic abuse. The 'I'm sorry' is what keeps the woman in that predicament.

    Have you ever heard someone say 'well, I said I was sorry' as if that just put and end to the other person's hurt? The word sorry is like a blanket used to cover up, but it never hides. The pile gets bigger and bigger and soon nothing they say is valued. Out of the mouth comes what is in your heart.

  2. After reading this weeks post, I was like WOW! There are some people out in the world today that don't apologize for anything. Those are the one's that I feel don't have a heart or a conscience. They go on about their way doing or saying whatever to whomever regardless of the outcome. I shake my head sometimes when I come across a person like that.
    I remember growing up, I used to apologize for a lot of things, whether I did wrong or not. LOL. I guess that was the child in me and know I was going to get blamed for my brothers mess, so I'd apologize in advance. Now, as an adult, if I am wrong about something, said or did something wrong, I have no problem with saying I'm sorry. It's not my intention to hurt someone in any way shape or form.
    Do I have regrets that I need to apologize for, I guess with some things I can say yes. But, that would be me saying sorry to myself. The regrets are things I did or didn't accomplish.
    This is a good post, it makes one think about their actions. Thank you Kimberly.

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